The Wedding that Wasn't: Why I Said I Don't

I'm excited to share this guest post from D.W. Brooks writing as her character Jamison Scott from Homecoming Chaos as part of the WOW! Women on Writing blog tour.

Four years ago, I woke up in bed with a guy that I met at a bar. One that I was not engaged to. I didn't know his name. I didn't know where we were. The guy was hot and young, so at least my taste in men held up. Fortunately, we didn't have sex—but only because we were too drunk. Either way, it was a poor form for a woman two months away from a wedding to a hot, wealthy surgeon. A man I thought I was in love with.

That's how I knew I wasn't ready to get married.

I met Dr. Edward Boudreaux—Eddie--- during my internship year at a Grand Rounds meeting. He was a surgical resident and seemed cute and kind. A few minutes of awkward flirting later, and I gave him my number. It was fast, I admit. I had learned not to give out contact info so quickly while I was modeling in New York. Guys did not have good intentions, and I was only 16. But that's another story for another day. Back to Eddie: We met for coffee at the hospital café a few times at first. I thought he wasn't interested because he was so circumspect with me. No attempts at a kiss, holding hands, nothing. Ugh. I thought he was so cute, and something about his crooked smile and beautiful eyes drove me crazy. But when he finally asked me out on an official date, he showed me he was very interested.

Here's where my first mistake happened: I didn't tell him every important thing about my time in New York. I know a lot of you probably think that he didn't need all the details of my time as a model. But this might have been informative.

I had a baby at 16.

My mother helped me put her up for adoption, which is another story as well. I understand there was nothing to be ashamed of, but I thought he would judge me harshly, so I never told him. Besides that huge omission, I also had some lingering resentment for my mother about how she dealt with my pregnancy. As a result, I wasn't sure I wanted more kids. And Eddie wanted several. Unfortunately, I didn't say anything to the contrary. He wanted me to stay home with the kids, too. I went along with it because I knew the relationship thrilled my family, and my mother was finally not holding my past poor judgment against me. Anyway, how bad could this marriage be? I would be married to a great guy, and I was sure I would be happy once I got there.

However, when push came to shove… I mean, we were a few months away from the wedding, and I realized I didn't really want this life. I didn't want to stay home, and I didn't want a lot of kids. Maybe I really didn't want any. Therapy had not helped me clarify my feelings; that was a problem. I also knew that not telling him about the baby until now would be a crushing blow to our relationship. I had dug myself into a Jamie-shaped hole…I was trapped. And a coward…

I started acting out—going out more often, flirting with strangers, probably more…It wasn't fair to either of us. Plus, no one understood why I was struggling. When I tried to discuss my feelings with my mother, she would get defensive, and it would devolve into a fight with verbal reminders about how irresponsible I was in New York. My fiancé was busy with surgeries, so he didn't notice that I was in trouble. I was a bystander in my own life—drifting along with what others wanted for me. But what did I want? I needed to figure that out. No matter what I decided, I knew I couldn't do it by getting married in two months.

So, I said I don't. Chaos ensued.

About D.W. Brooks

D.W. Brooks lives in Texas with her husband and children. She enjoys trying to stay in shape, sporadically cooking, reading (still), writing, and working on her blog. She is eternally grateful to the woman who donated a kidney to her over 5 years ago and continues to advocate for organ donation as much as she can.

Learn more at www.authordwbrooks.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authordwbrooks/

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/lifethereboot

Homecoming Chaos by D.W. Brooks

About Homecoming Chaos

A dead body in the parking lot of her family’s business, a killer on the loose, and a handsome detective asking a lot of questions…

Jamie Scott’s life fell apart four years ago when she broke off her engagement, turned down a dream job, and went overseas to run away from her life. Now she’s back, but the reunion is not without problems. She arrives home just in time to attend the soiree her mother planned, but she’s not prepared for what she finds—a dead employee in the parking lot.

Detective Nick Marshall is assigned to the murder case at the forensics lab owned by Jamie’s family. He meets the headstrong Jamie, but he has a job to do. And his attraction to her… well, he’s a professional.

Jamie knows the stakes are high. She has to face the past and save her parents’ business while dealing with her family drama and an uncertain future. She also has to deal with Nick, who wants her out of the way of his investigation. But fate keeps throwing them in one another’s paths… and into chaos that they both want to avoid, but neither can seem to escape.

Publisher: Life: The Reboot, LLC

ISBN-13: 979-8218150501

Print length: 449 pages

Purchase a copy of Homecoming Chaos by visiting Amaz on, Barnes and Noble, or Kobo. Make sure you also add Homecoming Chaos to your Goodreads reading list.